Tag Archives: Peggy Post

Wedding Cheers!

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I love late Summer weddings. After just returning from a knock-out family wedding in Durango, Colorado this past weekend, (i.e. tailgating pre-wedding service, the most unforgettable flower girls and pooch ring bearer, fireworks, roasted s’mores for dessert!), I’ve had weddings on my mind and all the surrounding details, from beginning to end. So grab a pen and paper, you bride and groom to-be, and get ready to take some most likely needed notes!

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We all know the weeks and months leading up to the Big Day are often filled with many ‘things-to-do’ lists, including mailing off the save-the-date, wedding invitations and RSVPs…


Alice & Max Save the Date


Tyler and Eddie Wedding Invitation by Workhorse Printmakers


Botanical Vintage Roses Wedding Invitation and RSVP from Citrus Press


The international master of calligraphy and fine stationery, Bernard Maisner (the Editorial Director of Martha Stewart Weddings, Darcy Miller, used Maisner for her wedding invitations).

…The rush of the event keeps the bride and groom rolling full steam, but often the arrival of the dreaded Thank You note can kill the fire. However, this doesn’t have to be the case. Keep it simple with the following suggestions, with help from our friend Peggy Post, great granddaughter to the Queen Bee of etiquette.

1. Every gift or act of kindness deserves a handwritten card, no exceptions. This list should include people who give money, your attendants, friends and family who entertain for you or house your guests, vendors who go out of their way to make your wedding memorable, and even Uncle Tom who will supervise the parking at your reception. These individuals matter.

2. Respond in a timely fashion. Ms. Post feels ideally you write the note on the day you receive the gift. Possibly set a goal to write three or four notes a day. Do remember, the accepted standard is to write and send a card within three months of receiving a gift. But don’t make yourself crazy with the thought of writing each day especially leading up to the wedding!

3. Share the responsibility. We live in a modern society so why not work as a team to write these notes together. Open a bottle of good wine, light candles, play music, laugh about moments from the wedding. And be sure to include a signature from both individuals.

4. No shortcuts. Signing a store bought card or writing the same message to everyone does not cut it. The notes people remember are the one which express your heartfelt feelings. Be thoughtful and considerate. Tip: look at the gift when you are writing the letter for inspiration.

5. Be sure to pick up some kind of return address stamp to move the addressing along.

6. And a little additional suggestion from Mrs. Brown here, keep your Thank You list and notes in one location, maybe even a basket or bag with pockets for pens, stamps and cards. This way you can write on the fly. Stop at a coffee shop with your spouse before work, sit at picnic table at a favorite park or plant yourselves at a location meaningful to you both.


Wedding Paper Divas

Bottom line, especially in this day and age, a handwritten Thank You remains the gold standard of courtesy. Express your words and emotion on paper. There is simply no other way. Now briefly on to the cards themselves…

When were married, we simply ordered plain Thank You notecards (with a touch of the wedgewood blue from our wedding theme, wowza were we into details) through the old Dayton’s (cue to weep!). But nowadays there are many options.


Polaroid Photo Wedding Thank You postcard from Marty McColgan.

Although Peggy Post believes one should not include a wedding photo or photo card, if this will delay sending notes, I tend to disagree. I feel people enjoy a reminder of the day through an image. I’m especially fond of the greeting cards from Prinstagram. With the ease of using your Instagram account and the high quality card stock and envelopes, it’s a done deal.


My friends Beth and James are considering the above photo to use for their Thank You notes thru Prinstagram. It captures a blip of a moment which most guests didn’t catch yet holds the energy of the evening and the sweetness of the couple. Be authentic. Be you.

Is Late Ever Too Late?

When I was spry 20-something and antsy for the next best thing, I quietly asked my then boss’s boss, a Senior VP for a very large corporation, for a letter of recommendation for a new job I was seeking. My fearless mind and body (with my entertaining sidekick/boyfriend, Nick, beside me) drove over to his lovely home in an elegant neighborhood one Saturday afternoon, knocked on the door and was greeted by the Senior VP and his wife with open arms. Not only did the Senior VP agree to write the recommendation, but a thoughtful letter, both written and typed, arrived in my mailbox in a matter of a few weeks. I was touched.

Fast forward to six months later, I ran into the Senior VP in a downtown Minneapolis skyway. By this point we both had left our former jobs, myself being hired by the agency I aimed for, possibly with the assistance of his recommendation. He asked if I had received his letter. Dead pause. I was speechless and instantly red in the face. Of course I received the letter but How On Earth did I not thank him with a responding note? If not attached to a fabulous bouquet of flowers?!?! Looking back at that time of my life I remember days of wedding planning, traveling for work, job change…a lot. Of course, now juggling three kids and a business my old lifestyle looks like a breeze! Even then I was aware of my enormous lapse in judgement by not acknowledging the letter, especially with a written Thank You.


Still to this day, I think of my lack of grace with this incident every so often. Crazy I know. But it leaves me wondering…is it ever too late to write a Thank You note? In my case 15 years later, an out-of-the-complete-blue Thank You card, praising my old friend’s recommendation? I honestly don’t think it is too late.  Would I find it strange or tactless to receive a note of gratitude a good while after an occasion? Not in the least. I might even appreciate it more, knowing my actions were meaningful enough to stay on the recipient’s mind years later. And, most importantly, it meant they took the time and thought process to sit down and write.

For the most accurate answer I turned to the Manners Bible, i.e. Emily Post’s Etiquette 17th Edition (written/edited by Emily Post’s great-granddaughter-in-law, Peggy Post). No surprise, promptness was number two when it came to the fundamentals of expressing gratitude. Aside from the Wedding Gift accepted standard with a three month window of time, a written Thank You note should arrive no more than a week after an event or action. OK. So I will go against the Queen of Etiquette. I’ve always been a bit of rule breaker anyway.

So after a little more thought, guess what I did today? I Googled my old friend and mailed a letter to his current place of business. Hopefully he’ll laugh, be reminded of the importance of his influence as well as the value of a written note. Even 15 years later.

P.S. I did find a few sites (here and here) with interesting insights on the later-than-usual Thank You note for those interested!